When ignorance isn't bliss

Since Coby and I have decided to adopt, many people have asked us, Why?". This is a natural curiosity, and I understand that. I have no problems answering that question for our close friends and family. But for people I just met, I tell them it's the way we have decided to have children. For most people, this is acceptable, and they get the hint.

However, I have met many people who don't stop there. Here's a sample of what I have heard over the past 1 1/2 years (and how I wish I could respond out loud):

"How sad you can't have your own children."

Yeah, b/c Andy is really someone else's child and he is just "on loan".

"What's wrong with you? with your husband?"

Are you stupid or just rude?

"I think it's ridiculous that people are going to foreign countries when there are so many kids here that need homes. Why not adopt an American kid?"

If that's the way you feel, then why don't YOU adopt domestically?

"Well maybe one day you will have kids of your own."

Please see response to stupid remark #1.

"Are you going to tell him he's adopted?"

Seriously, someone asked me this, even after I showed them a picture of Andy. Despite the fact that his current hairstyle resembles Coby's, I'm pretty sure this is a no-brainer. I don't think we've ever been mistaken for Asian people.

"Wow, you must have a lot of extra money."

Usually my blank stare makes people feel uncomfortable enough that they move onto another topic quickly. Silence can be amazing when dealing with ignorant people.

One lady even implied that I will never know what true, sacrificial love is really about since I will only have adopted children. I think she was also the recipient of an uncomfortably long, silent stare (or maybe glare).

None of these questions have been asked by friends or family members, only by acquaintances or people I have recently met. My friends and family may think these things, but at least they have enough of an internal check system that they don't say them out loud.